Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Writing blog post

The kraken
“Yargh! The deck is washed and ready to go across the wild seas of the Cook Straight” exclaimed  one of my jolly crew members excitedly. So off we sailed, on our way, me and my crew, to a desert island said to hold the greatest treasure of all. But Johnny, one of the swashbuckling twins, sensed that something unpleasant would stop us in our path. We all chuckled and I shouted trying to stop laughing “ as captain of this ship I say that that is just a whole lot of nonsense. That is the most stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life.”  Later on about two hours after Johnny spoke the nonsense he spoke, I started to wonder if he might of been right. “ Captain, everything ok. Do you feel like Something is fishy?” “ I am starting to wonder if Johnny was right” “Oh don’t you start blabbering on about it. All I want to hear now is the sound of the waves and the birds.” If you were wondering who I was talking to it is a friend of mine called Malleny. She is a really kind girl and she has only just joined the crew. It felt like Malleny has been part of crew for ages.


“ Captain! Captain! Another pirate ship is approaching us! Get the cannons  ready. Everyone has to be ready” “ Now, take aim, fire!” It felt like we were back in world war 2. I watched in despair as people fell before me. “ Why is the the boat rocking from side to side,” I screamed at the top of my voice at all the people in my crew that were still alive. All of a sudden a gigantic tentacle appeared at the side of the boat. Why would there be a tentacle at the side of the boat? Finally I caught on to what was going on, it was the Kraken! But the thing is it wasn’t really attacking us it was actually trying to help us. It started to make it’s tentacle go on a slope just like a slide. I decided that I should slither down his tentacle because  It’s our only hope to escape this battle. So down I slid, down the long  octopuses  tentacle. It felt like we were sliding down the slide at Onekawa pools. As we, my crew and I, approached the end of the tentacle we noticed that there was a small desert island barely floating above the water.


We flew  off the slimy sticky tentacle and  landed on the island in search of an x in the sand and hoping it was the right island. But on the way they encountered a nice tribe which seemed to be living on the small deserted island. The head of the tribe let us stay and live with them. We instantly knew we were in for a treat. They also gave us the treasure we were looking for. In the chest there was a lamp just like a genie one. Suddenly there was a rumbling sound, like you hear when there is a big earthquake, from inside the lamp. Poof! out popped a genie. “ You may have one wish” “ok, I want all the people in my crew who died to come back to life. If you can do that for me that would be great.” In two seconds the wish was granted. They all got up and looked at me as though to say “ thank you for bringing me back to life” they were also very happy.  As the years passed the island was extended and made a tourist attraction with a gigantic kraken feature standing tall and proud in the centre of the amusement park which was built recently. But forget about what I was telling you, the ground started to shake. It was the Kraken this time it was wearing coconut bras, a hula skirt and it was juggling juggling balls. He was also playing the ukulele with two of his tentacles. And they all lived happily ever after until……. MORE KRAKENS appeared.
To be continued..…
This is the rest of the story here you go!!

So basically they had a gigantic octopus party which had 20,435 people/ krakens. And that's basically it. Why are you still here? There is nothing more to see but a blank screen. Unless you want to hear me sing. 


I have been learning to entertain the reader and put detail into my writing so they feel that they are in a movie. My writing goal is vocabulary because I want to learn more amazing words to put in my writing. I also get great words from Roald Dahl like gobsmaked and snozzcumber. Roald Dahl is a great author and a great word creator.I am proud of my writing because of the amazing detail I put in it. I like to get feedback because it helps me to make changes in my writing so that I can communicate my ideas exactly as I want the reader to read them. So I also had a lot of fun creating my writing because I can share my ideas with the world and be creative. As I was writing I realised because I had so many good ideas I should write them down so I can remember them. Each idea I wrote made me think of another idea to add to my writing.

Something that challenged me was trying to make things make sense so that everything sounded right because I had so many ideas that kept coming and I kept writing so when I went back to check my writing it didn't make sense. As I was making things make sense, I went and changed my ideas and made them better than they were before.Next time I could add in more detail when the kraken was summoned to attack us but the kraken actually helped us. I enjoyed creating my writing because it was my chance to be more creative.




4 comments:

  1. This is an exceptional piece of writing Faith, and you have definitely met the goal of entertaining the reader and giving the movie-style experience to your story - you took my imagination to being right there in the boat when it was rocking from side to side. And the words "I watched in despair as people fell before me" are so evocative, and relevant to your World War 2 reference. I'm very proud of you. xx

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    1. Thank you mum for commenting we must get it so dad will comment on my blogposts

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  2. When i read this l am very proud of what Faith has done and achieved in her writing and how well she puts her story's together wonderful work Faith xxoxox

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